Greetings and welcome to a new edition of my Who Would Win Series and it is going to be the Teke Teke vs Kuchisake-Onna, both are Japanese Urban Legends. This blog is going to be quite different in a sense that the match up itself has alot of unique factors coming into play.
For both sides, I will do a backstory for both Teke Teke and Kuchisake-Onna, and, for the first time, mention the riddles and rules from both Urban Legends. I will also focus on the base stats, weapons, abilities, accomplishments and finally, who I personally believe will win this fight.
For Teke Teke, I will use images of the Teke Teke films and because the movies do alter Teke Teke's backstory, I will mainly focus on the traditional backstory.
As for Kuchisake-Onna, I will also use images from the Carved films, and, like Teke Teke, will use the traditional backstory since Kuchisake-Onna's backstory in the movies is different.
On a final note, this blog will feature alot of gruesome and horrific images. Those who do not want to see blood and gore may need to leave this blog immediately. Also, Kuchisake-Onna's images will haunt those who do not like scary images.... Trust me, it is terrifying to alot of people hahaha.
So, without further ado, let's begin.
Teke Teke
Teke Teke was once a beautiful Japanese Girl who had an unfortunate fate. She was raped and assaulted by American personnel, who so happens to not even being caught for their crimes. The Girl eventually committed suicide on the Railroad, which resulted in a incoming train splitting her body in half. This resulted in a gruesome scene. The Girl was mutilated from the waist down, completely cut in half, and, because the temperature at the time was very cold, she didn't bleed out as quickly as expected. This allowed the girl to have time to ask for help. Eventually, the Girl reached the train station and shouted at the attendant for help.... Unfortunately, the attendant's only means of helping her was covering her with a plastic tarp. Sadly, the Girl died slowly and painfully.
According to legend, after knowing of this story for three days, you will see the spirit/ghost of a girl, who is missing her lower torso. This is the same girl who committed suicide on the train tracks. Thus, once she sees you, she will chase you, catch you, and, if you are unlucky enough, cut you in half to make you look like her and she will steal your legs in the process. Thus, the legend of the Teke Teke was born.
That is the story of the Teke Teke. Now, let's see what this Evil Spirit can do.
Rules and Riddles
To truly understand how Teke Teke attacks her victims, we must remember how she will approach them. In some versions of the legend, Teke Teke attacks her victims with no form of communication whatsoever. However, some versions of Teke Teke give her more character, and she even talks to her would be victims by asking them questions. If Teke Teke asks you "Do you need your Legs?" You must reply "I need them right now". Then, she will ask you "Who told you my story?" You must reply "Kashima Reiko. Ka as in mask, shi as in death, ma as in demon, rei as in ghost, and ko as in accident". If you answer her riddles without mistake, Teke Teke may just let you live. Failure to do so will result in Teke Teke slicing you in half to make you look like her
Other rules for Teke Teke, if you are to wear, carry, or, if you are in a vehicle, driving something with the color red, Teke Teke will chase you and kill you. The reason why? Because Teke Teke hated the color Red and threw away or destroyed anything she saw with the color red.
Another, lesser known rule, should you be in the presence of the Teke Teke, do not, I repeat, do not turn around and look at her. If you completely ignore Teke Teke, she will eventually leave you alone. If you turn around to see her, you just booked a free flight to heaven.
Speaking of the Teke Teke's presence. It is quite easy to know of her whereabouts. Why? because Teke Teke's movement's make a "Teke Teke" sound. This is loud enough for the potential victim to realize that they are in dire trouble if they are not careful.
So, if you follow the rules and, if Teke Teke asked you the questions and you answered correctly, you can survive an encounter with Teke Teke... But then you will die in three days anyway XD!!!!
Strength
Teke Teke, despite being a evil spirit with just an upper torso, is amazingly strong. Here are a couple of feats for Teke Teke's strength.
- Can slice her victims like butter with her bare hands.
- Collided against Rie Hirayama's car. Not only did Teke Teke smashed the side of the car with such force, she was not even stunned or injured while doing so.
- Sliced two school girls at once.
- No matter what your wearing, Teke Teke can slice through armor like butter.
- Can wield a scythe with just one hand
Speed
Teke Teke's speed is possibly the most deceiving factor to anyone she encounters. Surely Teke Teke is very slow right? She is just a upper torso? WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teke Teke's speed is her main driving power for attacking her victims. Here are Teke Teke's amazing feats for speed
- No matter which story of Teke Teke you take, she is always stated to attack with such speed, she kills you in the blink of an eye.
- Is stated to go as fast as 150kph.
- Caught up to Rie Hirayama's car. Rie was driving her car at full speed yet Teke Teke caught up eventually. While Kana pulled the handbrake, the fact that Teke Teke did slightly outmatch the speed of the car makes the feat very impressive anyway
- Traveled from Nagoya to Mikasa, Hokkaido. Both places are 19+ hours apart from each other if you drive to and fro. So for Teke Teke to travel that distance very quickly, that means she has supersonic speeds.
Durability
While Teke Teke is very strong and insanely fast, unfortunately, she doesn't actually have alot of durability feats. That said, there are a couple of feats for durability that are worth mentioning.
- Was pushed by a mop
- Like strength, Teke Teke crashed against Rie Hirayama's car. Durability wise, this is impressive because Teke Teke did not flinch or feel stunned afterwards.
Weapons
Teke Teke, traditionally, carries a weapon to mutilate her victims. The films however never gave her any form of weaponry to handle with. That said, there are a few weapons that Teke Teke wielded depending on which version of her story you take. This is the list of well known weapons used by Teke Teke.
- Claw like Hands: While not technically a weapon, Teke Teke's hands deal deadly results. She uses her hands for her means of travel but another use for them is for mutilating her victims. Thus, Teke Teke's hands are versatile for both travel and killing her victims.
- Sickle: The sickle is Teke Teke's most iconic weapon. Like her hands, the sickle can slice up victims like butter. While the blade is shorter than most bladed weaponry, the sickle alone is very easy to use due to it's light weight.
- Scythe: Another well known weapon for Teke Teke is the scythe. Like the sickle, the blade can cleave through Teke Teke's victims like butter. However, the advantage the scythe has over the sickle is that it is longer and the blade is almost 4 times the length of the sickle
- Katana: While not used by Teke Teke as often as other weapons, the Katana is still a weapon worth mentioning. Katana's are extraordinarily sharp, and in the hands of Teke Teke, can slice up a group of victims in one swipe.
- Saw: Teke Teke has used the Saw in some versions of her legend. It can mutilate victims in a very slow, and gruesome process. This in turn makes the victim die in a very painful, slow death.
Abilities/Curses
Teke Teke has a couple of abilities and, as you expect from an evil spirit, curses. Here is a list of Teke Teke's abilities and curses.
- Super Speed
- Super Strength
Intangibility: Teke Teke is a spirit. So, in theory, her true form should be intangible to attacks. Infact, the Teke Teke is usually inside a persons body to kill and mutilate her victims. Her true form has yet to demonstrate this ability, but, for the sake of consistent logic with ghosts being untouchable, it is likely that Teke Teke is intangible.
Possession: One of the most powerful abilities that Teke Teke has is Possessing her victims. This in turn makes Teke Teke become one with her unfortunate victim, and, should the victim already be sliced in half, resemble Teke Teke in terms of appearance and capabilities. It is worth noting that the possession takes time to apply but it is still a very powerful ability regardless.
Immortality: Teke Teke cannot die. She is virtually unkillable by physical and conventional weaponry. So, in a sense, she is invincible. Another thing about Teke Teke's immortality, she also can live forever. Meaning, she can just manifest into her true form without aging.
The Teke Teke Curse: Without a doubt, the most famous part of Teke Teke's legend is her curse. Should you be cursed by Teke Teke, you will die in three days. Other variations of the curse depend on the story though a consistent theme for it is that her presence alone casts the curse on the victim, even after they escaped from Teke Teke. That said, since you have known Teke Teke's story at this point, in three days, you will see her in flesh and you must conquer your fears and hope for the best............ Do not panic, this is just fiction XD!!!!
Feats
Before we end Teke Teke's info, we must look at a list of her feats. Regardless of which version of Teke Teke's legend, she still has done consistent feats across all medium and literature. Here is a list of Teke Teke's accomplishments.
- Killed Rie Hirayama and Kana, who were the main characters of the first Teke Teke Film. Kana was killed in the sequel.
- Has slaughtered countless victims who tread on the train overpass at night time.
- Has eventually outpaced cars going at full speed.
- Despite people solving clues to get rid of her, Teke Teke never seems to be affected in anyway shape or form.
- Has two great films that accurately portray Teke Teke's legend,
Weaknesses
Believe it or not, Teke Teke is lacking any exploitable weaknesses. Although people can escape from Teke Teke if they are fast enough, Teke Teke will eventually kill them overtime. However, in terms of obvious weaknesses, Teke Teke is limited to her arms and hands. Should someone actually slice off her arms, Teke Teke would lack any form of travel and attacks. It would also be possible for Teke Teke to be completely immobile if someone caught her. Also, Teke Teke has never fought other spirits in her lifetime. Infact, all the Legends of Teke Teke involve her being the sole supernatural being in her universe.
Still, after great consideration, I think it is safe to say that Teke Teke is a real badass Urban Legend. Infact, her backstory alone makes Teke Teke a tragic, sympathetic story. It is amazing how Teke Teke can accomplish her feats with just her upper torso......... What a true badass.
Kuchisake-Onna (The Slit Mouthed Woman)
During the Edo Period, set around 400-200 years ago, in a village, there once was a very beautiful woman. This woman was so prideful of her beauty, she would ask the locals "Am I Pretty" to which all of them replied with an enthusiastic "Yes". She was so confident with her beauty, she eventually married an intelligent samurai. Living in a healthy, secured life, the woman enjoyed a moment of peace.
This all changed when one day, the woman decided to have an affair with a soldier. Eventually, her husband found out about the affair and, with anger, asked the soldier "Why her? Why my lady rather than all other women in the village?" to which the soldier replied "For she is the most beautiful in the village. I cannot pass up such an opportunity".
Amazingly, the samurai understood the soldiers story. So, he spared the soldiers life and thanked him for his honesty and his reasoning........... The Woman on the other hand did not have the same benefit.
Once the Samurai encountered his wife, he slit her mouth from ear to ear and said "Who will think you are pretty now?". This resulted in the woman losing her pride and joy, leaving her nothing else but a permanent scar on her face. She will never achieve the same level of beauty again.
Eventually, the Woman committed suicide and was banished to eternity of avenging her pain. Nobody knew what happened to the Woman after her suicide......... Then, the spirit of the Woman returned, with a mask or fan covering her horrible scar, wielding a pair of large scissors. The spirit became known as Kuchisake-Onna, also known as "The Slit Mouthed Woman"
That is the legend of Kuchisake-Onna. Now, lets see what she can do.
Rules/Riddles
However, there is a way to trick Kuchisake-Onna. If she asked you "Am I Pretty", you must answer "Average". This will confuse her for a moment, giving you time to escape. What is more impressive, if Kuchisake-Onna asked a child if she was pretty, the child will have to answer "Am I Pretty?". This will confuse Kuchisake-Onna, and eventually, she will leave the child alone, saving him/her from death.
It is also worth noting that if you throw fruit, objects, anything you carry around at her, she will be distracted, thus, giving you more time to escape.
So, if you follow these rules, you will survive an encounter with Kuchisake-Onna....... That is if she is in the mood for a talk XD!!!! You see, sometimes, she never asks her victims and straight up kills them anyway. This makes her a very unpredictable spirit to come across.
Strength
In terms of strength, Kuchisake-Onna is basically human level. While this makes her an average joe in terms of strength, there are a couple of strength feats worth mentioning here. This is a list of strength feats for Kuchisake-Onna.
- Held children on a regular basis with a very strong grip. No child has ever escaped from Kuchisake-Onna's grip.
- Can knock down a full grown man with just a slap.
- Using her scissors, she can slice anyone in half, even armored soldiers.
- Stabbed Sachiko multiple times against a steel garage door. This is also impressive because not only did Kuchisake-Onna stab Sachiko with little effort, this also resulted in the steel garage door getting pierced by her own scissors.
- Her kicks can severely damage a child.
Speed
Kuchisake-Onna's speed is amazing. Infact, she is surprisingly quick for someone who doesn't have any sort of equipment to help her increase her speed. Here are some speed feats for Kuchisake-Onna.
- Can outrun anyone who tries to escape.
- Is stated to run 100 meters in 3 seconds flat
- Has chased down numerous victims around alleyways without any sign of slowing down.
- Can catch someone who are 200 meters away from her very quickly without any abilities coming into play.
- Stabs her victims with such speed, they die before they noticed what happened.
- Slices her victims in half very quickly.
Durability
In terms of durability, Kuchisake-Onna is surprisingly tough. Even though she appears human, Kuchisake-Onna does have many durability feats that make her superhuman. Here is a list of feats for durability.
- Can survive severe injuries that would otherwise kill a human.
- Was stabbed through the chest with a kitchen knife by Sachiko. Eventually, Kuchisake-Onna got back up like it was nothing.
- Was whacked in the head by children hitting her with steel baseball bats. Baseball bats, when swung at full force, can crush a human's skull,
- Took multiple punches and kicks from people who try to escape.
Weapon
Large Scissors: Despite their laughable appearance, Kuchisake-Onna's scissors are, quite literally, the sharpest weapon in her universe. These scissors are so sharp that they can cut through anything like butter. Even Samurai, who wear armor, were cut in half by the scissors. What's more, these scissors are also double edged, meaning they can even cut anything like what a knife would. In essence, these scissors are hugely underestimated and should be considered a dangerous weapon.Abilities/Curses
This is where the fun begins. Kuchisake-Onna is a very, very powerful spirit. What's more, what you have seen of Kuchisake-Onna is merely an avatar of her true self. Here is a list of Kuchisake-Onna's true capabilities
Super Speed
Enhanced Durability
Regeneration: An often overlooked ability, Kuchisake-Onna can regenerate wounds instantly. It is a very quick healing process that makes her incredibly hard to kill.
Intangibility: Kuchisake-Onna is a spirit, thus, her true form is invulnerable and untouchable by physical and conventional means of attacks. This makes her impossible to kill without any sort of "Anti Kuchisake-Onna Weapon".
Possession: By far the most powerful ability of Kuchisake-Onna, her possession is instantaneous. She can posses multiple people to increase her efficiency of murdering and kidnapping her victims. In fact, she possesses people so efficiently, it is even used kilometers away from her own position. It is also worth noting, in some versions of the legend, that once the victim is possessed, their appearance changes into Kuchisake-Onna's appearance. This makes Kuchisake-Onna a very powerful soul possessor.
Teleportation: Another, very powerful ability for Kuchisake-Onna is teleportation. While this ability is usually used to chase her victims, it is entirely possible for her to use it in combat, making her untouchable by the enemy. Even better, Kuchisake-Onna can teleport as many times as she wanted. And, there appears to be no limit to her range of teleportation. Thus, Kuchisake-Onna is basically Nightcrawler with scissors!!!!
The Curse of Kuchisake-Onna: The legend of Kuchisake-Onna varies from story to story. However, it is true that her curse is deadly to her victims regardless of the effects. If you are to encounter Kuchiskae-Onna, you will never escape from her wrath. Even if you somehow tricked her, you will always be haunted by her spirit for eternity. What is worse, Kuchisake-Onna's curses can involve her victims mutilating themselves by slicing their mouth from ear to ear, causing severe sickness, even possessing them with just a thought.
Immortality: Kuchisake-Onna....... cannot die. Simple as that. Her true form will never be erased from existence, there are practically useless methods of killing her permanently and, what's worse, she simply cannot be stopped for too long. Those who decapitated her body, failed to kill her true form. This makes Kuchisake-Onna invincible.
Feats
Before we finish the info of Kuchisake-Onna, we must look at her accomplishments. Here is a list of her legendary resume.
- Killed thousands of victims over the course of a 400-200 year period.
- Kidnapped children on a regular basis. Only a very few handful have lived to tell the tale.
- Outsmarted Police Officers, Detectives and even the Japanese version of the FBI.
- Has appeared in numerous places all at once.
- Possessed even the most strong willed victims instantly.
- Is still very beautiful while wearing a mask or using a fan to cover her scar.
- Has two well directed movies. Carved and Carved 2 Scissors Massacre.
Weaknesses
Believe it or not, Kuchisake-Onna is lacking any form of weaknesses. However, in her victims body, she has the limits of a human being. Thus, should the body be destroyed, Kuchisake-Onna's spirit will have to possess another body in order to hide her true self from harm.
It is also worth noting that While Kuchisake-Onna's scissors are legendarily sharp and deadly, they are basically her only weapon she has used. This makes Kuchisake-Onna very limited in terms of equipment.
Still, despite the teenie tiny flaws of Kuchisake-Onna, she is without a doubt, one of the most terrifying, badass Urban Legends ever created. It is quite amazing that one would underestimate her capabilities at first glance......... That will be their undoing XD!!! Bottom line, Kuchisake-Onna is one of my favorites!!!
Summary
Teke Teke
Advantages
- Superior Strength
- More weapons
- Virtually unkillable by physical weaponry
- Her Speed can match Kuchisake-Onna's speed
- Is cuter..... even though she is a girls upper torso XD!!!!
- Will attack Kuchisake-Onna while she is asking Teke Teke "Am I Pretty"
- If Teke Teke's curse worked on Kuchisake-Onna, it may kill her.
- Has a more sympathetic backstory
- Teke Teke and Teke Teke 2 are amazing films!!!!
Disadvantages
- Teke Teke's Speed, while legendary, is outclassed by Kuchisake-Onna's teleportation alone
- Not quite as durable as Kuchisake-Onna's true form.
- Teke Teke's possession takes time whereas Kuchisake-Onna's possession is instantaneous. It is also possible for Teke Teke to eventually be possessed by Kuchisake-Onna since the possession has no limits.
- Less abilities
- Not as smart as Kuchisake-Onna
- Cannot bypass Kuchisake-Onna's regeneration if she doesn't cut her body in half.
- Her weapons will not permanently kill Kuchisake-Onna's true form
- More predictable than Kuchisake-Onna
- Her Curse cannot exactly kill Kuchisake-Onna since it has never been shown to harm other spirits.
- Lacks a stealth advantage since her movements give away her position.
- Needs an American Movie to be made!!!!
Kuchisake-Onna
Advantages
- Superior Durability in her true form
- Superior Speed thanks to her teleportation
- Her Scissors will eventually dismember Teke Teke if given the chance to do so
- Is smarter than Teke Teke
- Very unpredictable
- More abilities
- Kuchisake-Onna's Possession is instantaneous. And theoretically, could posess Teke Teke since there is no limit to her possession
- Her True form is virtually unkillable.
- Can potentially resist Teke Teke's Curse.
- More experienced
- More stealthy
- Has more limbs
- Arguably more beautiful than Teke Teke, even with the Scar.
- Carved and Carved 2 are amazing films!!!!!
Disadvantages
- Not as Strong as Teke Teke
- Kuchisake-Onna relies on her victims bodies in order to avoid contact with anyone while in her true form. This can result in Kuchisake-Onna being vulnerable to attacks should Teke Teke take advantage of the situation
- Limited to just her scissors in terms of combat
- While in a victims body, Kuchisake-Onna's true capabilities are limited to just human level.
- If Teke Teke's curse worked on Kuchisake-Onna, theoretically it can kill her.
- Asking Teke Teke "Am I Pretty" Is utterly useless since Teke Teke is very straightforward with her approach to her victims.
- Is a slut before she was mutilated.
- Needs an American movie to be made!!
Conclusion
Teke Teke vs Kuchisake-Onna is hands down, the most unique match up to date. Even better, researching both Teke Teke and Kuchisake-Onna has been a real joy for me. I love Urban Legends so this kind of stuff is up in my alley. That said, let's look at the match up to determine a winner.
In terms of stats. This is undeniably tricky. On one hand, Teke Teke is superior to Kuchisake-Onna in every way..... That is, if Kuchisake-Onna is in her victims body. Anyway, while this seems lopsided in favor of Teke Teke, this is not considering the fact that Kuchisake-Onna's true form comes into play.
Once Kuchisake-Onna's true form is revealed, this match up gets very, very intense. Teke Teke still has the strength advantage..... but then stuff like Durability and Speed are in favor of Kuchisake-Onna........ Yes, Teke Teke's speed is outmatched by Kuchisake-Onna. How? Simple.... Teleportation.
Kuchisake-Onna's Teleportation is extremely powerful. Infact, in alot of verses debates that I have seen involving Teke Teke vs Kuchisake-Onna, they usually downplay the capabilities of the Teleportation. This teleportation has no limits at all. It has made Kuchisake-Onna appear in places that would otherwise be impossible to reach in hours when she can do so in seconds.... This in turn outclassed Teke Teke's speed substantially.
As for Durability, Kuchisake-Onna is virtually intangible and impossible to kill. It is stated by her legend that there is no way to permanently kill Kuchisake-Onna. However, that said, Teke Teke has the same factor coming into play also. It appears both are at a tie then right? Well, we are missing one very important factor in the fight..... POSSESSION!!!!
While Teke Teke's possession is powerful, Kuchisake-Onna's possession is instantaneous and is bigger in scope. Infact, if Kuchisake-Onna can posses someone who are miles away from her own position, I do think she can possess Teke Teke before the fight even happened........... However, another factor does come into play.... Curses
Both Teke Teke and Kuchisake-Onna have powerful curses. However, in my opinion, Teke Teke's curse is deadlier and more extreme than Kuchisake-Onna's. And even better, theoretically, it is impossible to escape from Teke Teke's curse, let alone even prevent it from happening. Should it be applied to Kuchisake-Onna, it can kill her.......... But there is a problem here..... Immortality.
Both Teke Teke and Kuchisake-Onna are immortal. They cannot exactly die permanently. Since that came into play, we have to look at the only way to find a winner. And that is how I found a surprising solution........
Since the only way for the fight to somehow end. One has to theoretically outmatch and overwhelm their opponent to win. But, for this particular match up, it appears that it is impossible to do so......... Then, I realized, wouldn't Kuchisake-Onna's possession be a factor at all? My answer.....
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, in my opinion, I believe that in the end, Kuchisake-Onna will win this fight. However, it doesn't actually end to the death. Teke Teke...... will actually still be alive..... but this time, Kuchisake-Onna will take control of her body and, her soul....... Thus, thanks to her Possession, her superior abilities and her teleportation and speed, I believe that Kuchisake-Onna has what it takes to "Control" Teke Teke.
The Winner is Kuchisake-Onna
Next time on Who Would Win
Samus Aran (Metroid) vs Nova Terra (Starcraft)
