Season 3: Duke Nukem vs Serious Sam

Greetings, and welcome to another edition of my "Who Would Win" Series and it is going to be Duke Nukem vs Serious Sam.



Now, on a forthright, I will only include Weapons and Items for both sides using the base games and not the DLC. The reason why I decided to do this is because the DLC weapons for both Duke and Sam are virtually identical to their standard weapons anyway. That said, DLC feats will be included for the match up just for the fun of it :D!!!!!

For Duke Nukem, I will mainly used Duke Nukem 3D and Duke Nukem Forever as the primary source of info, as they are literally, the only two games I've played in preparation for this match up. Thankfully, with some added info from a friend of mine (Who I shall thank later on), I now have a good amount of information for Duke's Resume and capabilities from his own games.



As for Serious Sam, I have played all of the main games plus the hilarious and over the top Double D XXL masterpiece, and of course, I will mainly focus on his standard weaponry for this match up.


Finally, I will be going through the base stats, weapons, Items, and finally, who I personally believe will become the true King of Ass Kicking One Liners that is not Arnold Schwarzenegger............... Sorry XD!!!!






So, without further ado, let's finally finish this long standing rivalry once, and for all.






Duke Nukem

Very little is known about Duke's childhood. However, at one time, Duke was enlisted into the US Army and served under General Graves as part of a peacekeeping force in Beirut during the Lebanese War.

After a while, Duke left the army, and was eventually hired by the CIA to stop an Alien Invasion force led by Dr Proton that threatened to destroy earth.


Duke eventually defeated Dr Proton and his forces, however, once again, Duke was set in another Alien Invasion. Only this time, the Aliens, known as the Rigelatins, kidnapped Duke and planned to destroy Earth..... However, for some silly reason, the Rigelatins decided to assassinate Duke on their own planet..... BIG MISTAKE!!! As Duke finally defeated the Rigelatins cleanly and efficiently. Duke eventually returned to Earth and attempted to settle down in peace......... Not for long.



As it turns out, another Alien Force has attacked Earth. This time, with a plan set in motion that is far worse than ever before....... Capture the Women of the planet....... Obviously, this spurred Duke into a warpath to take down the invaders, which, eventually he did. The Women were saved, Earth was safe once again, and Duke became a hugely successful Buisness man, celebrity and the legendary hero of Earth for the ages........ But, predictable storytelling tells us, Duke had even more trouble ahead.


Twelve Years later ,once again, Earth is invaded by Alien Invaders, and Duke finally took measures into his own hands. Duke attempted and, like a badass he is, succeeded in driving out the Alien threat. During the chaos however, the President of the USA was assassinated, and Duke announced that he was running for President.


Unfortunately, Duke was kidnapped by a familiar foe: Dr Proton, who was resurrected using Cybernetic Augmentations (Robocop anybody?) and was taken to Area 51. Dr Proton told Duke that he planned to use Duke Clones to destroy the Aliens on the Moon to ruin Duke's Reputation. Despite this grand plan of Dr Proton, Duke killed Dr Proton once and for all, and while escaping from Area 51, met an old US Army friend named Dylan and General Graves. The trio escaped Area 51 with the Cyborgs and Duke's Clones being destroyed into the flames


After the escape, Duke and Dylan found a Teleporter to the Moon. Their new plan is to stop the Alien Forces on the Moon from invading Earth. This ultimately set the stage for Duke to meet the Mother of all Invaders......  The Alien Empress.


Duke Nukem, once again and finally, killed the Alien Empress, and saved Earth from another invasion. This also resulted in many women being rescued by Duke, who owed him a lifetimes worth of gratitude.... with love :).


That is a very straight forward but extensive background of Duke Nukem. Now, let's see what the King of One Liners is capable of.




Strength

Duke Nukem is a powerful combatant in terms of physical Strength. Here is a list of feats for Duke's Strength capabilities

• Can crush through Alien Armor using his fists, which are much tougher than Earth Based Materials such as Steel and Titanium
• Can kick the Cycloid Emperor's eye like a football........ This also made Duke score a goal, as the eye flew between the goal posts.... Talk about a money shot :D!!!
• Can rip apart ventilation vents, and armor joints. 
• Is able to crush walls using his fists and his Mighty Foot
• When killing a foe, Duke's punches are powerful enough to send them 15ft backwards.

Speed

Duke has a particularly high level of Speed. So much so that he is far beyond human capabilities. Here is a list of feats for Speed.

• Can avoid laser and plasma attacks
• Is able to match a rockets flying speed using specific power ups
• Can avoid gunfire entirely
• Using his jet pack, Duke is fast enough to match Alien Space Craft speed
• Can swim across water quickly, even avoiding laser fight at the same time. 
• Avoided attacks from the Cycloid Emperor, The Alien Empress and Dr Proton, all of them can shoot super sonic projectiles

Durability

Durability is interesting for Duke. Here is a list of notable feats for durability

• Can survive multiple gunfire attacks without armor
• Has survived building explosions to the face. Sometimes, Duke has even survived explosions directly, and got out unscathed
• Can take a couple of rockets, which are powerful enough to destroy Alien Armor
• Took multiple Shotgun blasts point blank by Pig Cops
• Survived multiple attacks from the Alien Empress, who can shoot barbs and uses tentacles   

  

Weapons

This is where the fun begins. Duke is armed with weapons that any badass hero would want to use. I will be using Duke's Standard weapons for this match up since the DLC weapons are virtually Identical to them anyway. So, here is the list of weaponry used by Duke Nukem









 
Mighty Foot: Mighty Foot is.... well, just Duke's feet. While basic, the Mighty Foot serves it's purpose as a nice melee attack

Duke's Golden Pistol

Pistols: Duke Nukem's most iconic but also his weakest weapon is the Pistol. Despite being "Weak" the pistols still pack a punch. The "Duke" Pistol, covered with Golden Paint, can score quadruple damage when shooting at the head of the enemy. So, in that case, the Pistols are FAR from weak after all XD!!!! 

Duke and his trusty shotgun

Shotguns: Duke has used multiple shotguns before. And the best way to describe them is that they are the answer to hardcore firepower. Each shotgun fires 12 gauge shells that produce wonders and carnage.

Oh, and fun fact, the same model of Duke Nukem's shotgun was used by the Terminator in "Terminator Dark Fate".

Chaingun Cannon

Chaingun Cannon/Ripper: The Ripper "Chaingun Cannon" has the fastest rate of fire out of all of Duke's arsenal. This weapon is a three barrelled powerhouse that sprays bullets so quickly, that Duke's enemies would die in mere seconds. Unfortunately, the Ripper lacks long range efficiency due to the bullets being spread out. That said, The Ripper is still capable of long range combat since hitting your target can count after all :)

RPG

RPG: The RPG "Rocket Propelled Grenade" Is one of Duke's most powerful weapons. It is self explanatory, it is simply a Rocket Launcher. Though this RPG is able to fire rockets automatically and at a much faster rate than the standard RPG, making it much more devastating in combat

Pipe Bomb

Pipe Bomb: Pipe Bombs are throwable grenades used by Duke Nukem. They are usually outfitted with a mechanism that allows Duke to simply use a remote detonator to trigger blast. However, sometimes, Duke doesn't even use the detonator to make it blast, as the bombs can be shot by Duke or even his foes to trigger the blast.



The Coolest part about Pipe Bombs is that Duke can throw as many of them as he wanted and he can use his remote Detonator to explode all of them, making a massive blast of epic proportions...... This is already a badass weapon indeed :D!!!!!





The Shrinker: Now, in order to explain this "Weapon", the Shrinker, well, changes the shape of the victim to the size of a bug.......... This weapon also decreases the damage output from the victim, and Duke can finish off his enemy simply by stepping on them........... Logic is flawed isn't it XD!!!!!

The Shrinker

Microwave Expander

Microwave Expander: The Microwave Expander is the polar opposite of the Shrinker. This weapon fires red projectiles and the fire rate is damn impressive, almost matching the Ripper's Fire Rate. However, the main draw of this weapon is that it makes the victim expand in size and explode..... Yes, Duke Nukem has a weapon that turns you into a balloon............ I guess he wants to party with his enemies doesn't he? XD!!!!

Devastator

The Devastator: Duke Nukem's Ultimate weapon, The Devastator is a pair of rapid fire gyrojet rocket launchers that fires a barrage of rockets towards his foes. The Devastator is so powerful, it can slaughter an entire room of enemies in mere seconds. Unfortunately, it also consumes ammo the quickest, as the Ammo Reserves for the Devastator are more limited compared to other weapons used by Duke.

Laser Tripbomb: With a design that looks like a video game controller, the Laser Tripbomb is a sensory bomb that triggers a blast when the enemy, or even Duke himself, touch the laser. The blast is powerful enough to even surpass the RPG's damage output, making this bomb quite a deadly weapon.

Laser Tripbomb

Freezethrower

Freezethrower: The Freezethrower is a weapon that makes the enemy turn into a block of ice after a couple of shots. This also allows Duke to finish them off by smashing them into pieces. Very deadly and very cold hearted....... No pun intended XD!!!!

Incinerator

Incinerator: The Incinerator is.... A Flamethrower. This weapon is extremely dangerous in close range and if the enemy is unfortunate enough, will be turned into ashes. Since Duke has used this on Pig Cops, he could just get free bacon rashers after burning them to a crisp.... Yummy!!!!!!!!!!

Railgun

Railgun: The Railgun is a sniper rifle that fires electrical bolts. When scoring a headshot, the enemy's head explodes, which delivers satisfying results. The Railgun's beam is also extremely powerful, as it can still kill an enemy with one hit regardless of a critical hit.

Captain Laser

Alien Tech Weapons: Finally, Duke has used Alien tech weaponry in Duke Nukem Forever. They include a burst fire mechanism and even a minigun known as the AT Captain Laser, which fires lasers in rapid succession.

















Items
Duke has Items that help him in combat and exploration. Here is a list of items used by Duke.








 
Portable Medkits: Portable Medkits allow Duke to recover lost health. What is interesting here is that, should Duke lose 20% of Health, a portable Medkit can transfer 20% health for Duke, fully healing him immediately. However, repeated use of the Medkit will eventually discard it, as the maximum amount is 100%. That said, the Medkit is still a vital asset to Duke's equipment

Steroids

Steroids:  Steroids are Duke's main method of increasing his speed and damage dealt. They also restore Duke's original size, if he is shrunken down by the Shrinker.

 However, in Duke Nukem Forever, they also place Duke's Ego at 75% and increase his damage substantially. This time however, Duke is limited to only his fists, but he still packs a punch that put's Rocky Balboa to shame.... You see, the Steroids make Duke a monstrous killing machine, making the Steroids a very powerful item.

Beer.

Beer: Beer allows Duke to reduce incoming damage from 100 to 25..... This is one of the most effective reductions of damage in video gaming since Borderlands, and what is interesting here, Beer replaced the Portable Medkit as a Recovery Item, and honestly, Beer is much better. Oh, and once consumed, everything is in a slow motion effect. While not even remotely close to Bayonetta's Witch Time in terms of power, the slow motion allows Duke to buy himself time to finish off his enemies quickly.

The Jetpack

Jet pack: The Jet pack allows Duke to briefly fly in the air for a total of 2-3 minutes max. It gives Duke a huge mobility boost and even makes him cross over obstacles that are impossible to pass on foot. 

 Holoduke: The Holoduke is basically a portable dummy that Duke can use to distract his enemies. What it does is simply run towards them and taunt them with one liners with an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonation.

Duke Vision

Night Vision Goggles/Duke Vision: The Duke Vision is used the same way as the Night Vision Goggles. Used in dark areas for better navigation.

Protective Boots

Protective Boots: The Protective Boots allows Duke to cross dangerous hazards on the ground such as Lava and Radioactive Waste without taking damage. The boots themselves will eventually break down the longer they are ontop of these hazards, so Duke has to quickly find safe ground or else he will be damaged by the hazards eventually.

Armor

Armor: Armor reduces Duke's incoming damage substantially, as the damage instead transfers to the armor for a moment. However, overtime, Duke will eventually receive health damage once the armor is weakened. That said, the Armor still serves it's purpose as a valuable asset.

Atomic Health

Atomic Health: Atomic Health, when picked up, can increase Duke's health by up to 200, well beyond his standard 100. This makes it that Atomic Health is possibly Duke Nukem most powerful pick up item to date.












Double Damage: Duke can gain a power up that allows him to deal Double damage with all types of attacks for greater effects. A single shotgun blast can destroy a Pig Cop instantly.



Invincibility: Invincibility allows Duke to become invulnerable for 30-45 seconds, making this power up more powerful than Mario's Star power up by over 30 seconds........ Duke does edge out Mario with one power up at least XD!!!!!!!!








Vehicles
Duke has used numerous vehicles over the course of his adventures, here is a list of his most iconic vehicles.



Hover Craft

 









The Hovercraft is a space craft used by Duke for both flight and combat. It fires twin laser cannons and flies across with decent speed






Monster Truck

The Monster Truck, also known as "Duke Truck" is used for long distance travel. It is heavily armored and can withstand massive explosions before finally breaking down. Still, the Duke Truck is a powerhouse, as it can also ram over enemies on the road, making them "Roadkill" XD!!!







Feats for Duke Nukem

Duke Nukem has accomplished a ton of feats that make him one of the coolest characters in all of fiction. Here is a list of feats achieved by the King.

• Has officially, and cleanly, defeated Alien Invaders like it is a Tuesday
• Defeated Dr Proton twice
• Has defeated the Cycloid Emperor
• Defeated the Alien Empress
• Defeated the Battlelord by punching him right in the jewels...................... I think Johnny Cage would be proud XD!!!!
• Saved multiple babes from the Aliens, which, well, would make a man proud :D!!!!
• Has destroyed numerous Alien Craft using their own weaponry such as Alien Turrets. Talk about having a taste of their own medicine.
• Took down Four Armies, two of them are Aliens 
• Defeated Santa Claws...... Yes, Duke Nukem ruined Christmas everybody XD!!!
• Duke Nukem 3D is a masterpiece, one of the greatest FPS games ever made

Has some of the funniest one liners such as 


Duke: "Time to Kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I am all out of gum....."


Chick: "What about the Game Duke? Was it any good?"
Duke: "Year but after twelve *****ing years it should  be"


Duke: "Here's looking at you kid"

 Duke: "Look at my ass"


Duke: "What am I a chimpanzee?"


Duke: "Why so Serious? Sam?" :)


Duke: "Nobody steals our chicks...... and lives"

Duke: "Go ahead, make my day"

Duke: "I'll be Back"









Weaknesses

While Duke Nukem is the King, by no means is he the King of Invincible.

Firstly, despite what people may think, Duke is not even close to being as powerful as a regular superhero. He actually has the same vulnerabilities as any human would. And a very well placed head shot is more than enough to kill him instantly.

Secondly, Duke's arsenal runs on ammo, should he run out, he needs to find more or else he will resort to his fists. This can be a huge disadvantage for Duke should he fight in the long run.

As for Duke's Items, they also suffer from limited usage and a time limit. The Steroid effects lasts for a brief moment, and are not permanent. 


With regards to Duke's Jet pack, while it helps Duke with mobility, should it run out of fuel, it becomes utterly useless. Oh, and if Duke somehow drops to the ground when the jet pack runs out, he will die from the fall. 


Finally, Duke's power ups such as Double Damage and Invincibility, while very powerful, are also extremely rare, especially for a more likely scenario such as the middle of nowhere. This makes it that these power ups are practically out of the question in a random encounter..... unless stipulations come into play.


However, despite these flaws, Duke has achieved a chunk load of badass feats that truly solidifies him as one of the most iconic FPS characters ever. Hail to the King Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!






Sam "Serious Stone 
 

 




















Sam "Serious" Stone was born and raised in the USA sometime during the 22nd century. While very much unknown with regards to his childhood, he eventually went through high school and was nicknamed "Hairy" by his friends because it had something to do with goats (odd indeed).

Strangely enough, Sam's left foot is bigger than his right foot and is stated to have a birthmark in a very delicate spot (oh my, this is "Serious" after all XD!!!) Sam also loves bananas :D!!!

Eventually, Sam enlisted into the Earth's Defense Force, and become Captain. And, after the invasion of the Mental's Alien Forces, Sam participated in a war of epic proportions.


During this time, Sam eventually traveled to Egypt and found a time machine that took him to Ancient Egypt in order to attempt to stop the Mental once and for all. Unfortunately, Sam only took out the Mental's Forces and not the Mental himself. But, this eventually inspired a group of aliens known as the Sirians to capture Sam and request that he should save a galaxy wide amount of Aliens from the Mental's Forces, and retrieve pieces of the Medallion that, when fully assembled, will severely weaken the Mental, and become "The One".


Eventually, Sam finally achieved this epic quest........ And finally defeated the Mental once and for all...... Unfortunately, as it turns out, the Sirians already had hundreds of completed Medallions in a hidden room, making Sam's quest practically pointless......... I guess that's why he is "Serious Sam" after all XD!!!!


Since then, Serious Sam has become one of video games most badass characters...... But here is the real head scratcher..... You see, Serious Sam The First Encounter and Second Encounter are actually set between Serious Sam 2 and 3 BFE. Meaning, the series itself is a hilariously confusing timeline that makes The Legend of Zelda more tame.


Oh, and the upcoming Serious Sam 4 Planet Badass? It is a prequel to Serious Sam 3 BFE, which means the series is now going backwards instead of forward XD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




That is a hilarious and straightforward story of Serious Sam. Now, let's see what the most badass gun master since Doomguy is capable of.



Strength
By all intents and purposes, Serious Sam is one of the most badass characters in terms of Strength. Here is a list of Strength feats for Sam

• Can puncture through Arachnoid Carapaces, which are 4 times more durable than a car
• Can rip apart huge Insectoid aliens using only his bare hands. These massive bugs can be the size of a lawn mower or even a small car.
• Can smash through armored foes using only his fists
• Can destroy Kleers, which are skeletal creatures, using only his fists
• With his sledgehammer, Sam is capable of smashing through walls. 
• Can kick through walls even without the sledgehammer
• Can rip apart basically anything he desires.... Because he is Serious Sam.... :)

Speed 
In terms of Speed, Sam is amazing. Here is a list of unbelievable speed feats.

• Can dodge laser attacks regularly
• Has dodged Faster than Light Beams that reach over 12kms and more in a second.
• With his Serious Skates, Sam literally becomes untouchable to enemy attacks from all directions
• Has dodged multiple Sirian Werebulls regularly. Sirian Werebulls have unlimited amount of stamina and are over 5 times faster than a charging Rhino's Speed. 
• Can dodge Hover Bikes while on foot.
• Outpace Reptiloid projectiles, which are comparable to that of a falling meteor
• Has kept up with a Giant Bee's Speed, which is essentially the same level of speed as a normal bee. Bees are quick enough to avoid getting swatted in mid air, so for Sam to match that speed, it makes him very quick in terms of reflexes

Durability

Sam falling down into the Royal Sewer

In terms of Durability, I will be honest, Sam may well be the toughest badass I ever had to research in Season 3 of my "Who Would Win" Series. Here is a list of Durability feats for Sam.

• Has survived countless explosions to the face. Most of which can destroy armies in a wide radius
• Can take hotter than the Sun attacks to the face and only suffer minimal damage
• Has tanked magical attacks from Witches, A Dragon, an evil sorcerer and Count Kleerofski, who can use fireballs
• Has tanked telekinetic attacks from Witch Bride of  Achriman, who literally has telekinetic powers that can crush Sam and slow his aim speed..... Though Sam does shrug off those attacks anyway XD!!!!
• Took multiple blasts from Ugh Zan 3 and Ugh Zan 4, two of the Mental's most powerful admirals. Ugh Zan 3 is the size of a Mountain, who can shoot out huge projectiles at Sam. 
• Has tanked a Spinosaurus bite force, which is equivalent to that of three saltwater crocodiles, which generate over 1000-2000 pounds of force. 
• Took multiple Rockets from all directions and only comes out with a scratch.

Weapons

 












Now, this is the pride and joy of Serious Sam: Weapons. Sam is loaded, and I mean, LOADED!!!!! With a huge variety of weaponry over the course of his games. However, since I put characters at their very best, I will only use the Serious Sam 2 and Double  D XXL games as the primary source of weapons. That said, will still mention some notable weapons from other games just for the fun of it :D!!!


The reason being is because the weapons in those games are technically much more advanced and more reliable, since Serious Sam 3 BFE uses a reload mechanic, whereas the other games only have one option: "Push down the fire button and your set". So, because of this, I will list the weapons used by Sam in Serious Sam 2.

Colt Anaconda Revolvers

Colt Anaconda: The Colt Anaconda is a 6 chambered revolver that is dual wielded by Sam. While they seem like your typical revolvers, they are more than capable of piercing through armor and Arachnoid Carapaces. The Colt Anaconda Revolvers are one of the very few weapons that Sam has to reload after six shots, but the reload time is still much faster than the Serious Sam 3 BFE weapons anyway. The Colt Anaconda has unlimited Ammo.

Circular Saw

Circular Saw: The Circular Saw is a melee weapon that allows Sam to turn an enemy into mince. It is also an extremely powerful tool, as it  can slice through armor like butter and even cut down boxes for Sam to get more pick ups such as ammo, health and treasure

Zap Gun

Zap Gun: The Zap Gun has unlimited Ammo and has two functions. The first function is that if rapidly fired, the projectile simply tracks down it's intended target and hits them with small damage. However, if charged up, the projectile becomes much more powerful and, when the intended target is hit, will deliver plasma damage.

Auto Shotgun

Auto Shotgun: At first, you would think this weapon looks silly and impractical. Haha, oh boy you underestimate it already. The Auto Shotgun fires 12 gauge shells and instead of reloading, the weapon actually indexes to the next loaded barrel to continue firing. It's firing rate is slightly faster than the 12 gauge pump action shotgun from previous games. It is one of the most badass shotguns ever...... But!!!!!

Double Shotgun

Double Shotgun: The undisputed King of shotgun firepower, and believe it or not, my favorite shotgun of all time, The Double Shotgun packs firepower that even the Terminator would dream to have. It fires 12 Gauge shells and surprisingly, the Spread is much tighter than you would think, making the Double Shotgun very effective at medium range. While the reload time is slightly longer than the Auto Shotgun's barrel switch, it is still close enough to be equally as effective..... This shotgun is gold!!!!!!!!!!



Oh, and the Double Shotgun is virtually identical to the Double Barrelled Coach Gun used in previous games, only twice as cooler and four times as beautiful.

Klawdovic

Klawdovic: One of the funniest weapons I ever seen that is not a parody of any kind, Klawdovic is simply a bird that has a mini Serious bomb. Once the bird is flying, it homes in on its target and it quick enough to catch Alien Craft, dealing massive damage with it's kamikaze attack.

Grenade Launcher

MK IV Grenade Launcher: The Grenade Launcher is one of Sam's most powerful weapons. A successor to the MK III Grenade Launcher, the MK IV literally has more destructive capability than it's predecessor. That said, it also has multiple functions.

When quickly fired, the grenade simply shoots out and has the same damage output as a rocket. However, when fully charged, the grenade has twice the damage as a rocket and is fired at a much greater distance. 

It is worth noting that the grenades can bounce off the environment before it hits the intended target, or, if the timer runs out, triggering the blast anyway. Very powerful and very versatile.

RAPTOR Sniper Rifle

RAPTOR Sniper Rifle: The RAPTOR Sniper Rifle has the longest range out of all the weapons in the Serious Sam Games and is the only Sniper Rifle type weapon used in the series. As your typical Sniper rifle, it can be fired at an enemies, even pass through multiple foes in a row, showcasing it's piercing potential.


And, the Sniper Rifle has a scope to help Sam zoom in on his targets for better accuracy and better long range damage

Plasma Rifle

XL-808 Plasma Rifle/XL2 Laser Gun: The Plasma Rifle is essentially a fully automatic machine gun with plasma as it's ammo. The cool part about the Plasma Rifle is that it's damage output exceeds most of Sam's weapons. 

XL 2 Laser Gun

A previous model, the XL2 Laser Gun, has four barrels and fires lasers at a much faster rate.







 

Minigun

 XM214-A Minigun: Okay, I will be honest, the Minigun used by Sam is actually, one of my favorite guns in any FPS game that is not from Borderlands or Doom. On a serious note, the Minigun is simply put, Sam's most used weapon for numerous reasons. It can be extremely effective both in single combat and against armies of Aliens, Kleers, Arachnoids, Reptiloids, Orcs, ahhh, you get the idea. This Minigun is the embodiment of badass!!!!!!!!!



The Minigun's Fire Rate is unmatched, it is the fastest of all the weapons used by Sam and it's damage output gets even crazier the longer it is fired. This beast uses the same ammo type as the Thompson Sub machine Gun and other Assault Rifles, but none of them are even close to the capabilities of this sexy gun!!!!!!!!!!!

Dual Wielded Uzi's

Uzi: The signature weapons of Sam, and one of the most balanced weapons used, the Uzi's are Dual Wielded automatic fire arms that have a fast fire rate and decent damage output. They also share the same ammo type as the Minigun.

Rocket Launcher

XPML30 Rocket Launcher: The Rocket Launcher is a powerhouse. Though the projectiles may not be as fast as the Minigun and the Grenade Launcher, it does have a nice trick that allows it to be fired without reloading. It is an automatic firing gun that is very good for crowd control and can be effective in single combat also.

Hand Grenade

RB-45 Hand Grenades: A standard Grenade that is, well, a Grenade XD!!!! Once thrown, they can deliver damage that surpassed even a Auto Shotgun's blast.

Cannon

Cannon:.................... Well, how do I say this? It is a Cannon that fires cannonballs..... It has two functions. It can be quickly fired for rapid attacks and the cannon balls can even travel at great distances before exploding. Another trick is that they can bounce off walls and crush through enemies instantly.





The Second Function allows the Cannon to be charged up, and fire a cannonball that makes it, Sam's most powerful weapon in the entire series. Why is that? Well, a fully charged cannonball is powerful enough to one shot some of Sam's most powerful enemies such as Bio-Mechanoids and even Reptiloids...... Oh, and they can take a huge chunk of health in Boss Fights.......... This is just ridiculous. XD!!!!!!






Serious Bomb: The Serious Bomb is hands down, Sam's most powerful weapon ever created. You thought the Cannon is powerful? Well, the Serious Bomb puts it to shame. This is what happens

Before

After

Now, to be clear, the Serious Bomb just killed everything around Sam by atomizing them to nothing. This bomb is without a doubt, one of the most overpowered bombs I ever seen, and it is something that even most superheroes would not want to mess with. Even Scarier, Sam can carry a total of three Serious Bombs (5 if you use Sersious Sam HD and the VR Games) So even if Sam wasted it the first time, he still has another two or four more chances to finally end you............. Seriously, Sam is already Kenshiro at this point XD!!!!!!!!

It is worth noting that Sam survives the blast simply because the Serious Bomb projects a Life Preserving Field around him. Meaning that Sam is virtually untouched by it's power because of it.











Double D XXL Weapons
We now look at Sam's arsenal in the game "Double D XXL" For the most part, the weapons in Double D XXL are virtually the same as previously used weapons. However, there are a few that stand out. Here is the list of Double D XXL weapons that are noteworthy.

Flamethrower

0-4377 Flamethrower: The Flamethrower is exceptional for close range combat. And the flames themselves can melt through Aliens like crispy dinner.

Chainsaw

Insane-brand Chainsaw: The Chainsaw is self explanatory. It is a chainsaw. However, it can be outfitted with certain modifications to increase it's versatility, making it surprisingly crafty for any situation.

Thompson Sub machine Gun

Thompson Sub Machine Gun: The Thompson is a powerhouse. It can spray bullets at high speeds and is one of the more accurate guns used in Double D XXL.

Machine Pistol

Type II Machine Pistol: A rather interesting weapon, the machine pistol is surprisingly more powerful than the Colt Anaconda Revolvers. It has great fire rate and better damage, and has unlimited ammo. 











Double D XXL Weapon Modifications

A General Store Menu with Modifications to buy

The game Double D XXL is unique to the Serious Sam series as it allows Sam to modify his weapons for superior versatility. For instance, the Chainsaw can be outfitted with an electrical charge that allows it to deal long range damage, the flamethrower can be modified with a Hot Butter Spreader that shoots out a block of butter to the ground that trips enemies and even Sam, if he steps on one of those XD!!!!!

Oh and the Rocket Launcher can be modified with a Serious Bomb projectile, which, when fully charged, can unleash power beyond comprehension..... Badass!!!!

 



One more Double D XXL Trick.....
This is where the game reaches it crazy level by up to eleven. There is a special sort of quipment known as Gun Stacks. Gun Stacks allow Sam to use not just one, but multiple guns all at once. To show you proof here are two screenshots that demonstrate the insanity of the Gunstacks

Before

After

Yeah....... This kind of stuff is why Double D XXL is OVER THE TOP!!!!. On the plus side, using gun stacks provides limitless versatility, since Sam can use a rocket launcher plus cannon plus lasergun plus machine pistol plus shotgun plus flamethrower plus grenade launcher.... The options with the gunstacks is limitless!!!! This makes Sam, one of the most versatile badasses in all of fiction. Using 4 Laser Guns and a Rocket Launcher and a Shotgun?? Boy does that make you more powerful than even Samus Aran.






Ridables



Sam has ridden multiple vehicles and...... weird stuff. Here is a list of ridables

Dino

Dino: A large Raptor that Sam rode. It can breath out fireballs from it's mouth. 

The Flying Saucer

XZ-808 Flying Saucer: The Flying Saucer is Alien Craft that has two plasma turrets. It is also very mobile, as it can be very good at dodging attacks while firing at the same time. Despite the name, the Saucer doesn't quite fly into the air. It is simply a hover craft.

Hover Bike

CH-181 Hover Bike: The Hover Bike is one of Sam's fastest vehicles. Like the Saucer, it too can fire two plasma projectiles. This vehicle is used in the final boss fight against Mental

RollerBall

HAM-Z-rr314 Rollerball: The Rollerball is basically a huge hamster ball that Sam uses to travel at great distances. While lacking any form of weaponry, it can be used to crush Sam's foes once it collides with them at high speeds
 

Serious Jeep: The Serious Jeep is outfitted with two rocket launchers and it is heavily armored. It can also run over enemies though doing so can slow it down, leaving it more vulnerable to attacks. 

Serious Jeep

Should the Jeep take too much damage or run out of fuel, it will explode.

Attack Helicopter

Infantry Kozak Attack Helicopter: The Infantry Kozak Attack Helicopter uses a machine gun and a rocket launcher. The Machine gun has unlimited Ammo though the Rocket Launcher can only fire a total of 6 rockets. So Sam has to try and pick up rocket pickups in mid air in order to replenish the ammo supply
.









Power Ups

Sam can use Power Ups to boost his capabilities. Here is a list of Sam's most used power ups.

Invincibility

Invincibility: Sam becomes Invulnerable for 30 seconds. Making him unkillable during that time period..... Unless he falls off a botomless pit XD!!!!

Invisibility

Invisibility: Allows Sam to become Invisible to the naked eye for a moment. Though Sam can still be harmed by attacks, hitting him first is an issue since he could be anywhere :D!!!!



 

Serious Damage Logo

Serious Damage: Serious Damage, well, doubles Sam's damage. It lasts for 40 seconds though in Serious Sam 2, it lasts for a minute. Serious Damage is exceptionally good with weapons with a high fire rate such as the Minigun and Laser Gun

Serious Skates

Serious Skates: Serious Skates increases Sam's Speed by up to eleven. They are extremely useful for dodging attacks and sometimes, for travel. At his fastest, with the Skates, Sam can travel at super sonic speeds on foot.

Serious Speed

Serious Speed: Virtually identical to Serious Skates, Serious Speed increases Sam's speed drastically, reaching supersonic speeds. Unfortunately, it also has the lowest time duration out of all of Sam's power ups. At least it serves it's purpose well :D!!!




























Jet pack

 













Sam has also used a Jet pack. Unfortunately, it is mainly used in Serious Sam 3 BFE's final boss level. However, that said, it showcases Sam's skill using the Jet pack. As the name suggests, it allows Sam to fly into the air for a moment, giving him complete observation on the battle field, and allows him to easily dodge attacks from the ground and air. It also has unlimited amounts of fuel. 






Health/Armor Pickups

Sam can also pick up Health and Armor pick ups that increase his Durability in a long drawn fight.

Super Health

Health Items: Easy to explain, Sam can pick up  medicine, First aid kits and a heart to heal himself. Though there is a Super Health Pick up that increases Sam's health to 200, making him much harder to put down. However, in higher difficulties, should Sam pick up Super Health, he loses 1 point per second until it reaches 100.

 

Super Armor

Armor Items: Armor allows Sam to have an extra layer of defense. In fact, Armor reduces incoming damage by over 50%. However, the Super Armor Pick up allows Sam to have 200 points, making him both extremely tough to put down and more badass than ever before!!!! Why does Sam need Invincibility again????? 

Repair

Repair: Repair is a pick up for Sam's vehicles. When taken, Repair fully replenishes Sam's vehicles to mint condition, AKA, restores health.














 Feats for Serious Sam

As one of the most badass characters in all of fiction, Serious Sam is "Seriously" powerful. Here is a list of feats for the legendary savior of Mankind.... and friendly alien kind XD!!!!

• Has officially, and cleanly, and like a badass, finally defeated the Mental personally
• Has defeated countless armies all at once..... By himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Invaded Sirius with the help of  his allies....... And it took 2 hours to finally start the invasion because Sam wanted everyone to be ready XD!!!!!!!!!!!
• Defeated, but didn't kill, Cecil the Dragon in order to save the Elvian Princess..... who is, well, this

The Elvian Princess

 Ugggh XD!!!

• Has defeated Hugo, a massive Robot that can destroy buildings just by walking through them. Oh, and it also can use a large jet pack to fly
• Has defeated Two of Mental's most powerful Admirals Ugh Zan 3 and Ugh Zan 4. Ugh Zan 3 is the size of a Mountain and Ugh Zan 4 is just a kaiju sized monstrosity
• Defeated Prince Chan....... Who is a Kaiju Sized Sumo wrestler with a girly voice and a terrible singer XD!!!!
• Defeated Kleerofski
• Defeated Witch-Bride of Archriman
• Has defeated this....... 

A giant hamster..........I am killed by laughter.

•  Saved the Galaxy once and for all time.............
• Did everything for the Sirians.... even though they had a pile of completed Medallions all this time XD!!!!
• Exceeded Blondie's capabilities.... By staying alive, or, at the very least, complete the mission at hand
• Is one of the my favorite characters of all time.
• Voiced by John J Dick 

Has many badass one liners such as


"Yeah it's all fun and games until someone loses and eye" (After killing a Gnaar) 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH Yourself" (After killing his first beheaded kamikaze) 

"Double the Gun, Double the Fun"

"GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"You have exactly 5 seconds to explain what I'm doing here, and two seconds have just passed" 


Netrisca: "Be Useful. Save the Simba's Village from Invasion"
Sam: "Don't worry, it's done" 


"Come here horsie. Come on. Come on. Okay!!!!" (Talking to Dino)

After picking up a Cannon ""Woohoo!!! Let's go BOWLING!!"


Mental: "Sam..... I..... am......your..... f-" (Sam shoots at Mental)

 Sam: "Whatever" 





Weaknesses

  









As powerful and badass Serious Sam is, he is also kill able.

While very tough to do so, sufficient damage can kill Sam. Sometimes, even simple and basic hazards such as pits are more than enough to end his life if Sam isn't careful. Rolling boulders are also a scary enemy for Sam, as they too can kill him in a second if they touch Sam.


Sam is also, very much a lover of bananas.... this actually made him too obsessed to the point that at one time, he fell for a trap after seeing a pile of bananas........ Sam, you better not go into Donkey Kong's pile of bananas alright? XD!!!!!!!!

Sam's power ups, while very powerful, run on a time limit. Invincibility may be powerful but it is rare, making it almost unreliable in a more likely scenario such as the middle of nowhere. This applies to all pick ups as well.

Finally, Sam's weapons run on Ammunition. While his Pistols and his melee weapons have unlimited usage, Sam's powerful weapons simply do not last long enough in a fight that could last for 4 minutes with no ammo pick ups. 


However despite all this, Serious Sam is without a doubt, one tough son of a gun. Serious Sam is cool, funny, badass and above all, a legend.






Summary

Duke Nukem

  












Advantages 

• Came out first
• Duke Nukem 3D is a masterpiece
• Has more utility items that can help Duke against Sam, who mainly has weapons over utility items

Disadvantages

• Literally outmatched in terms of Stats
• Power Ups are not gonna help Duke against Sam in the long run since Sam also has the same power ups, with extra power ups. Making it that Duke has limited power up options compared to Sam
• All of Dukes weapons are vastly inferior compared to Sam's, who are both more advanced and much more powerful
• Duke Nukem Forever made Duke a laughing stock
• Surprisingly, Duke has far less experience than Sam
• While Duke defeated armies, Sam has defeated hordes of armies on his own on a regular basis. Whereas Duke fight 5-6 enemies at once compared to Sam facing hundreds......... Huge difference
• Duke's Jet pack runs on fuel whereas Sam's Jet pack has unlimited usage.
• While Duke can use vehicles such as a Monster Truck, Sam's Vehicles have much better firepower and greater durability

Serious Sam

    












Advantages

• Crushes Duke in terms of Stats
• Has more reliable power ups. Even better, Sam actually has more power ups to use compared to Duke Nukem 
• Sam's weapons are all round much more powerful than Duke's 
• All of Sam's games are masterpieces. Yes, even Serious Sam 3 BFE is great, despite being the low point of the series. Still, it is better than Duke Nukem Forever
• Is more experienced than Duke Nukem
• Has defeated hordes of enemies by himself on a regular basis. Which also helps Sam because compared to Duke, who only fights a total of at least 5-6 enemies at once, Sam can destroy hundreds of enemies at once regularly. This means Sam has a much better resume in terms of crowd control
• Has a far better jet pack compared to Duke, which runs on fuel. Sam's Jet Pack doesn't need fuel at all.
• All of Sam's vehicles are much more powerful than Duke's vehicles

Disadvantages

• Didn't come out first
• Less utility Items.

The Verdict

  










Well, it has come to this. Duke Nukem vs Serious Sam.... One of the greatest video game rivalries of all time.... Unfortunately, this is also, a massive stomp.


Before I cut it short, let's look at the Stats.

Sadly, while Duke Nukem is pretty powerful, Serious Sam.... IS WAY ABOVE DUKE!!!!

Firstly, Duke's best strength feats are around building level, whereas Sam's Strength level at best can be seen as above building level or possible multi building level, depending on the situation at hand. However, that said, Sam still crushes Duke in terms of physical combat. You see, while Duke can crush Aliens, Sam can do the same and much more. Sam has ripped apart Arachnoids using his bare hands, and Sam even carries a cannon.... A CANNON!!!!!!! No contest. Sam crushes Duke in terms of Strength


Speed Wise, a landslide for Serious Sam. Duke is quick enough to avoid Laser fire? Sam can dodge Faster than Light attacks...... Not close at all. Same wins Speed by a massive margin



Durability? Surely this is Duke's edge right? Nope. Sam has taken multiple explosions to the face and he is fine, whereas Duke gets seriously injured when the same thing happens to him. This is without power ups mind you, which also means....



Power Ups. Both Duke and Sam have identical Power ups. While I do believe Duke's Invincibility lasts longer than Sam's Invincibility, it only prolongs the inevitable. But even worse, Sam has more power ups than Duke anyway such as Super Speed, Super Skates and Invisibility. While Duke can use Steroids and Beer to help him, they simply cannot stack up to Sam's overall power. So power ups go to Sam pretty easily.




But of course, we need to get into weapons. Unfortunately, Duke is dead here. What Duke has, Sam has a counter or a complete nullification. While Duke's special guns such as the Shrinker and Microwave Expander will help him, unfortunately, because of the Speed difference, Sam is literally too fast to take the shots anyway. But, let's say Duke would land a blow on Sam with one of these weapons....... Well, it won't kill Sam. Why????? Because if Sam feels overwhelmed, he can use this

So even if Sam was shrunk, he could just use a Serious Bomb, which will atomize Duke to dust, regardless of size..... This single weapon is the most powerful weapon in this match up and ultimately, Sam automatically takes the victory because of it.


Even if we exclude the Serious Bomb, Sam's weapons still beat Duke Nukem's. I mean, the Auto Shotgun is far more advanced than Duke's Shotgun, and the Double Shotgun definitely overpowers Duke's Shotgun by a landslide. The Minigun overpowers all of Duke's weapons in terms of fire rate and power, and even the Cannon alone would one shot Duke.

It also doesn't help that Sam also can use Gun stacks... I mean 6 weapons vs 1-2 weapons????? No contest, Sam decimates Duke's Weaponry



Finally, Sam has fought hordes of enemies on a regular basis, ranging from over 100 enemies all at once, whereas Duke has fought groups of enemies at a time....... No contest, Sam is simply too powerful for Duke to handle.



With regards to other stuff such as Items and vehicles, while Duke does have more utility items, again, Sam's Power is just too much to handle. Holoduke's would be useless against Sam because they can be shot down or even avoided entirely, Steroids may increase Duke's Speed though Sam is already faster than Duke anyway, Beer may reduce damage though Sam's armor does the same and doesn't run on a time limit. Simply put, Duke is outmatched and outgunned. Even Duke's vehicles do not stack up against Sam's own vehicles, who are more advanced and more powerful overall.



So, thanks to his Stats, Resume, Weaponry, Power Ups, John J Dick, Serious Bombs, Hilarious quotes, I believe that Serious Sam will "Nuke the Duke" for eternity, and become the "The New King".

The Winner is Serious Sam

A Special Thanks

 





















I would like to once again thank my close friend OmegaJackRed. Mate, you have been such a wonderful help to me for this epic match up. I especially enjoyed the information about Duke Nukem such as his DLC moments and the "Duke Clones", those were hilarious to talk about :D!!!!!!! Hopefully, we shall collaborate again in the future.



Again, thank you my friend.











Next time, the Season 3 finale of Who Would Win......................





"Only the Best for Vitale"

Leone (Akame Ga Kill) vs Cerebella (Skullgirls)